If you have been a manager, director, or executive for any length of time you've probably let someone go. If you haven't you will.
Most of us agonize over these decisions and the difficult conversations that follow. They have a big impact on individuals and families, with possibly long lasting effect.
But sometimes you have to. Sometimes letting someone go is the best option. Sometimes it's what's best for everyone. I say that as someone who has been on both sides of the table (firer and firee). I'm glad now (many years later) that I was fired. It changed the course of my life for the better.
So here you are. You've tried everything and it's come to this.
Can letting someone go be a mindful act? Can you reside in the present moment? And would it make a difference?
Everything I've described above is really about NOT being present.
Worry (which boils down to fear, mainly) doesn't help. It certainly won't help you see clearly what's best, and it doesn't help you deal with a situation in the best way possible.
Being present without being overwhelmed by emotion is precisely what this type of decision making needs.
When you actually let someone go, though, listening and interacting with them has limits. The least mindful thing you could do in that situation is to give someone the impression that a decision is not final when it absolutely is.
I'm going to spend a few posts on this subject, from the decision making through the process itself, and think about what it means as a Mindful Leader to be involved in terminating an employee.
It is an important, if a bit sad, function of the leader to make and execute these kind of difficult decisions. It's worth thinking about and preparing for.
After writing my last post on Seth's blog, I think it is very important for all of us to Think Big and to seek out, encourage, and adopt 'Big Thinking'.
What's the difference you might ask?
Thinking Big is thinking about how we can make a big impact. Many things are changing in the world and every day there are new tools we can apply to do more, make changes, and make things better. It's easy to look around and see big thinking in action:
Smart phones, internet, airplanes, automobiles. Thinking big is identifying trends and figuring out how they impact you and what to do with them. Hey there's a flying carpet and I want to get on that thing.
Big Thinking is understanding the interconnections between things and identifying relationships. In an ever-more inter-connected world, understanding connection can be the biggest of all big things. It is looking at what makes up the trend (or anything really) and seeing if there is a thread in there that you want to grab a hold of and see how it relates to other things. Hey there's a flying carpet. How did they make that thing? I'm interested in that.
Neither of these skills are easy to improve, but it can be done. Both have potential dead ends and frustrations, and you need to improve resiliency and openness to other ideas.
Both are important, but I think the Thinking Big is the more celebrated and that Big Thinking, which is usually quieter, is the one that most needs improving.
Being able to think curiously about common place things (chairs, concrete, people, etc) allows us to appreciate our lives - it also allows us to see the deep connections that can also lead to lasting value - both emotional and monetary.
Underlying a lot of what makes Seth's Blog appealing is that he makes a very strong connection with his reader.
What makes this work is what I wrote about at the tail end of Part 3 - his expansive notions of how creativity and work can have a profound impact on the world. This is easy to identify with and get excited about.
This has intellectual components, but is largely an emotional appeal.
I don't agree with all of his blog posts, which is to say, intellectually some of them don't connect with me. However, I do keep reading his blog because of the connection I feel with the core themes: I also want to be a person doing important, creative work and changing the world.
Here is where theme selection probably matters most. To use my earlier example of desk chairs - it will be much harder to write an emotionally engaging, attention grabbing blog on the subject of desk chairs than on the subject of 'creativity at work'.
The logic of this doesn't hold up great if you spend too much time reading into his analogy. After all, are we going to seek to have gravity banned? No, we aren't.
But because it's short and because paragraph 2 packs such a punch against the backdrop of paragraph 1 - you feel a deep connection to it and its theme of 'focus on what your trying to accomplish, not on the forces you need to overcome.'
It rings true on an emotional level. We can all say 'ah, yes' and think of times or places when we ourselves or others got too focused on the wrong (usually negative) thing and wasted a lot of time and energy.
There aren't a lot of words here to get hung up on. Just the message and a strong emotional message in the last sentence that reveals why we shouldn't waste our time on the other stuff.
On the emotional appeal (which most of us want and need to have with our reader) you have some key points to think about:
Choosing a theme that lends itself to this sort of broad connection.
Making emotional appeals to those themes with our readers in addition to intellectual appeals.
An element of build up or revelation is useful to make that connection.
That's it. I will probably write a short conclusion to all this with what I've learned. But after that I will leave Seth alone.
... wisdom is the knowledge of what we know and do not know.
-Plato
All things that we learn provide us with three things:
The knowledge we gain.
The actions and ideas that flow from that learning.
A redrawn border between what we do and don't know.
Each time we practice something we change the map in the same way: a skill improved is a skill added.
It is good to develop the ability to see this boundary for ourselves, so that we don't always need to have others point it out to us. This also takes practice.
I don't see this as either positive or negative. We know some things, others we don't. We can choose to use this awareness in whatever way we want: learn more, seek help from others who are knowledgeable, act on what we know, or ignore it.
It's up to us how to attack the challenge presented by the boundary of our ignorance. No judgement.
Does all this lead to wisdom? I leave this as an exercise for the reader.
Link to the translation of Plato where I found the quote. Translation by Benjamin Jowett.
People need to hear that they are doing well, and the recognition needs to be specific.
Probably the most important way to be mindful in your recognition is to start recognizing others - be present, pay attention, tell people when they are doing well.
If you don't provide feedback, the natural tendency of the mind is to assume the worst, see Negativity Bias.
How else can you be mindful?
Be specific. When you are specific you are engaged with that person and clearly present and speaking honestly about what you value in them.
Provide feedback quickly. Don't wait, do it in the present moment.
Recognition of small, but valuable contributions is important.
Consistent, frequent recognition is important - best to develop the habit of recognition.
Have a baseline of honest dialog with the person. If you have previously given them constructive criticism then the recognition will be more powerful and more easily accepted.
Recognize others to a broader audience - this may mean including YOUR superiors on the recognition email or it may mean sending a thank you note home so that a spouse or child could see it.
Number 5 is interesting and requires real ground work ahead of time. It doesn't always have to be criticism - it could be goal setting or something similar. You need an honest framework for conversations and something more than just 'you always do great at everything you do.' Sooner or later that is going to become hollow feedback.
Jonathan Fries on .